Goals....

So this weeks BIA (sorry I am late posting again- Melia is on spring break and makes blogging hard) was not as bad as I thought it would be. Still not great- I am still trying hard to get back into the mind set of healthy eating and exercising more. You would think I would be able to get back quickly but it has been hard. I guess old habits die hard, and honestly if Owen doesn't cut some of his teeth soon I am going to give him some steel wool to chew on!!! Kidding, but seriously he has been teething FOR-EVER!! Those teeth of his keep coming to the surface and then going back down and I am at the end of my rope with that kid- which usually sends me running for crappy food... but I am going to try really hard not to let it affect me as much.

So if you look at my fat mass it is at 61.0 lbs. When I started back in January it was at 70.9 lbs thats 9.9 lbs of FAT!!!
My lean body mass is pretty much the same 117.5 now and 117.6 then. Hmmm guess I gotta hit the pump class a little more often!!

Anyways, I am going to make a goal right now- and I've heard its not a goal until you write it down and tell someone else, so I figure here I will kill two birds with one stone. My goal is no Mcdonalds for the whole month of April.... I'm hoping this will just lead to not ever wanting it again since I've also heard it takes 21 days to create a habit- I want my habit to be not eating mcdonalds when I am stressed out. 

My other goal is to get down to at least 165 (on my scale) but the end of the month... hopefully more but I'm looking at baby steps again. So on Dr. Morgans scale I guess that would be about 173.

So there we go - it is written so I will do it!!!

ps. How bad is it that my brain just thought 'I should go get mcdonalds right now since its the last day before I can't for a whole month' urgh... stupid brain!!!
Good thing the kids are in bed and I can't leave the house!!
Let the health begin again!

Back on track??

Well this week I have followed Dr. Morgan's rules on getting my butt back on the treadmill.
I had my wonderful older brother come over on Thursday night to help move my 3-400 lb machine upstairs to the main floor so I would be more motivated and could watch my good tv with my pvr'd shows- anything to get my mind off the actual exercise!!!

Anyways, I've also been eating lots better and this morning I weighed myself and it read 169.6! The lowest weight I have been since before I got pregnant with Owen. And .2 lbs lower than I was before I fell off the wagon.

That is motivating and encouraging. I'm excited (or as excited as I can be about exercise) to get back on the weight loss track!

urgh x 2

Ok, so the reason I haven't been blogging is first- my life is insane. and second- I'm embarrassed at my lack of progress and as of toady my set back :(

I can't for the life of me find my BIA test from Friday but here is my one from today.

I don't even want to go over the numbers. I'm quite upset with myself. Not that it is terrible, I mean I've technically only gained a few pounds but still, I am headed in the wrong direction!

I have realized that Mcdonalds is like crack cocaine for me- Once even a little bit is in my system it is SO HARD for me to stop. Though as of Saturday I haven't had any. A friend and I are doing a '12 step' program for my Mcdonalds addiction, she is my 'sponsor'.

I need to get back on track- I guess that has been my song and dance for the last couple posts hasn't it.
But seriously I do.
I did pretty good today. I need to go on the treadmill though and motivation is hard to find.
Dr. Morgan told me I have to go on it everyday for the next 7 days. So I guess I had better do it.
I think I need to move my treadmill upstairs so that I can watch my PVR'd shows while I walk/run because honestly it is so boring watching regular TV downstairs.

Ok. I'm headed to the treadmill.... lets hope I can get my act together already!

ps. Thanks for all the helpful tips and encouraging words either in the comments here or on FB or through my email. I really appreciate them all!!

Confession time...

So if you know me, or have been reading all/most of my posts, you probably know I am a stress eater. And a secretive stress eater at that. I will go to far lengths to hide the crap that I eat. Because if no one knows I ate it, it doesn't count right??!! I wish.
So for me to actually come right out in cyber space and tell you what I ate this week when I was pushed to the edge of stress is a big thing for me. I am going to try to be completely honest.... which will result in me being ashamed.

First off, being a mom is hard. Then add being single. Then add in my daughter who has Rett syndrome. Then mix in a few ruptured eardrums for my son- along with teething. Then put a dash of depression and a pinch of laziness (because if I am being honest, I have tendencies to be lazy- if I didn't I wouldn't be where I am right now). Bake that all in a house that is old, dirty and comes with a roommate who is loud and drives me a little bit batty, until you have cabin fever.

That is what my life feels like right now. I'm not saying this to give myself excuses, because I don't want to give myself excuses, just a glimpse into why I am stressed and on the verge of tears a lot lately.

Now, throw in the fact that I have been eating crap and it makes it all worse. Guilt!!! Man, this is a depressing post!

So I broke down and got Mcdonalds last friday. I told myself I didn't have groceries that I wanted to eat and I was pushed to my limit by the kids that day and I didn't eat well during the day so by the time dinner rolled around I was done and I broke down.

This wouldn't be so bad if I just had it that once and then went back to eating good... I wish I could say I did. I've had it about 4 other times since last Friday. I've also eaten some chocolate trifle thing and ice cream. I'm so irritated at myself each time- yet obviously not enough to stop eating that way.


Now, I still went to the gym so it wasn't a complete fail of a week but I guess what I need to know- any advice is welcomed and appreciated- how do I get past these gross cravings/depressed feelings again and stop eating this way.
Just stop right.... urgh.

When I went into Dr. Morgans on Wednesday my BIA wasn't terrible. It actually showed I lost fat and gained some lean muscle and a bit of water weight. As awesome as that is I kind of hoped it would've been a crappy printout so I would have that knee jerk right back into eating healthy.
Now, my Phase Angle went down lots, but, really that is such an obscure thought in my head and not as definitive as Fat or Muscle that it didn't really 'phase' me- lol!


Anyways, thats my rant. Hopefully by next Friday- I have a dentist appointment on Wednesday so I won't be seeing Dr. Morgan until Friday- I can say I am back on track.

woohoo!

I did it! I did it! I weally, weally did it!  
*sung like the kid from Kid History- if you haven't seen it- episode 6 is my favourite!

I ran the 6 minutes on my couch to 5k plan! AND... I didn't totally die!

I want to say Thank you to my sister for her advice of running more than just the 3 times and to Katie for telling me to run slower- I used to run at 5.5 on the treadmill but slowed it down to 4.9 and finally accomplished the week 4 day 1 runs!!!

So heres to being able to get through week 4 now and move onward and upward!
Also, I got some new shoes so my calf isn't cramping anymore- so thats 2 great things!
Wanna know a 3rd great thing??
I saw my trainer this morning (the one I hired when I first joined the gym for a 3 session package) He did their version of a BIA on me and he was very impressed! He couldn't believe how well I was doing- I think they usually offer this so that when you see how you are doing without a trainer they can say they will help you do better and try to push the training again...which is ridiculously expensive! But he didn't, and he was (I think) a little shocked at my progress without him!

So heres a little Toot Toot on my horn!!

a day late...

I have to apologize to all of you faithful readers who were probably sitting in front of your computers all day yesterday just hitting refresh over and over waiting with baited breath for my weekly update. :)

I had to take Owen to the walk in clinic and it turns out the reason my little man has been a whiny, unbearable, fuss pot is because he has an ear infection that this morning turned into a ruptured eardrum that was leaking all out of his ear. He had this last month too- poor kid.

Anyways... Dr. Morgan was quite proud of me this weeks weigh in. At home on my scale I weighed 170.6 and on his scale I was at 178.5- almost back to where I was before I had that weekend of debauchery...er, never mind, I just googled what debauchery means and I did Not have a weekend of that :)
So here are the numbers for this weigh in...
Phase Angle - 6.9 up from 6.3 last week... definitely because I have been remembering to take my DHA fish oils each day!
Okay so my Fat Mass hasn't changed much but thats okay too. Its like on Biggest Loser when they have a week where they loose 1 pound or even gain no matter what how hard they worked out- or at least I like to think of it that way.
I did loose 3.7 lbs of Extracellular Mass, which is the amount of water found in your body outside of your cells- so I lost water weight which is wonderful.

And take a look at my ECM/BCM- if you remember from my explanation post you want it to be 1 and look at where it is.....tada!!!!

My BMI has gone down from 31 to 30.6 so I'm still technically in the obese category but only by .7 can't wait until I'm only in the overweight category!! And once I get down to 140 I will be in the normal weight category!!