So if you know me, or have been reading all/most of my posts, you probably know I am a stress eater. And a secretive stress eater at that. I will go to far lengths to hide the crap that I eat. Because if no one knows I ate it, it doesn't count right??!! I wish.
So for me to actually come right out in cyber space and tell you what I ate this week when I was pushed to the edge of stress is a big thing for me. I am going to try to be completely honest.... which will result in me being ashamed.
First off, being a mom is hard. Then add being single. Then add in my daughter who has Rett syndrome. Then mix in a few ruptured eardrums for my son- along with teething. Then put a dash of depression and a pinch of laziness (because if I am being honest, I have tendencies to be lazy- if I didn't I wouldn't be where I am right now). Bake that all in a house that is old, dirty and comes with a roommate who is loud and drives me a little bit batty, until you have cabin fever.
That is what my life feels like right now. I'm not saying this to give myself excuses, because I don't want to give myself excuses, just a glimpse into why I am stressed and on the verge of tears a lot lately.
Now, throw in the fact that I have been eating crap and it makes it all worse. Guilt!!! Man, this is a depressing post!
So I broke down and got Mcdonalds last friday. I told myself I didn't have groceries that I wanted to eat and I was pushed to my limit by the kids that day and I didn't eat well during the day so by the time dinner rolled around I was done and I broke down.
This wouldn't be so bad if I just had it that once and then went back to eating good... I wish I could say I did. I've had it about 4 other times since last Friday. I've also eaten some chocolate trifle thing and ice cream. I'm so irritated at myself each time- yet obviously not enough to stop eating that way.
Now, I still went to the gym so it wasn't a complete fail of a week but I guess what I need to know- any advice is welcomed and appreciated- how do I get past these gross cravings/depressed feelings again and stop eating this way.
Just stop right.... urgh.
When I went into Dr. Morgans on Wednesday my BIA wasn't terrible. It actually showed I lost fat and gained some lean muscle and a bit of water weight. As awesome as that is I kind of hoped it would've been a crappy printout so I would have that knee jerk right back into eating healthy.
Now, my Phase Angle went down lots, but, really that is such an obscure thought in my head and not as definitive as Fat or Muscle that it didn't really 'phase' me- lol!
Anyways, thats my rant. Hopefully by next Friday- I have a dentist appointment on Wednesday so I won't be seeing Dr. Morgan until Friday- I can say I am back on track.