Friday, March 9, 2012

Confession time...

So if you know me, or have been reading all/most of my posts, you probably know I am a stress eater. And a secretive stress eater at that. I will go to far lengths to hide the crap that I eat. Because if no one knows I ate it, it doesn't count right??!! I wish.
So for me to actually come right out in cyber space and tell you what I ate this week when I was pushed to the edge of stress is a big thing for me. I am going to try to be completely honest.... which will result in me being ashamed.

First off, being a mom is hard. Then add being single. Then add in my daughter who has Rett syndrome. Then mix in a few ruptured eardrums for my son- along with teething. Then put a dash of depression and a pinch of laziness (because if I am being honest, I have tendencies to be lazy- if I didn't I wouldn't be where I am right now). Bake that all in a house that is old, dirty and comes with a roommate who is loud and drives me a little bit batty, until you have cabin fever.

That is what my life feels like right now. I'm not saying this to give myself excuses, because I don't want to give myself excuses, just a glimpse into why I am stressed and on the verge of tears a lot lately.

Now, throw in the fact that I have been eating crap and it makes it all worse. Guilt!!! Man, this is a depressing post!

So I broke down and got Mcdonalds last friday. I told myself I didn't have groceries that I wanted to eat and I was pushed to my limit by the kids that day and I didn't eat well during the day so by the time dinner rolled around I was done and I broke down.

This wouldn't be so bad if I just had it that once and then went back to eating good... I wish I could say I did. I've had it about 4 other times since last Friday. I've also eaten some chocolate trifle thing and ice cream. I'm so irritated at myself each time- yet obviously not enough to stop eating that way.

Now, I still went to the gym so it wasn't a complete fail of a week but I guess what I need to know- any advice is welcomed and appreciated- how do I get past these gross cravings/depressed feelings again and stop eating this way.
Just stop right.... urgh.

When I went into Dr. Morgans on Wednesday my BIA wasn't terrible. It actually showed I lost fat and gained some lean muscle and a bit of water weight. As awesome as that is I kind of hoped it would've been a crappy printout so I would have that knee jerk right back into eating healthy.
Now, my Phase Angle went down lots, but, really that is such an obscure thought in my head and not as definitive as Fat or Muscle that it didn't really 'phase' me- lol!

Anyways, thats my rant. Hopefully by next Friday- I have a dentist appointment on Wednesday so I won't be seeing Dr. Morgan until Friday- I can say I am back on track.


  1. Tanis, this sounds like me lately! I have been binging out on junk food like crazy!!! I'm sorry things are so tough for you. Being a mom is definitely hard, not to mention having the added challenges!! Hang in there! I've found eating more fiber and dairy kind of things helps me curb the cravings (although I'm lazy like you and I like the taste of chocolate too much to let it work, lol!!!) Let's do this, Tanis! We can both eat better! :D *big hugs*

  2. Sweet Tanis! We all have challenges, and yours are definitely real and hard to deal with. Stress eating is such an easy thing to fall into [and I say this honestly...maybe I'll expound on it later ;)] and a mental challenge to overcome. Stress eating starts and ends in your mind - its a battle than no one sees, which makes it all the harder to overcome. My advice is to find another way to outlet the stress. Just saying "stop doing that" is like telling a smoker to "stop doing that." Sure they know its not good for them, but when the craving/urge/stress hits, if they don't have a plan then they'll go running back to cigarettes and then beat themselves up about it, call themselves a failure, and sink a little deeper into a depressive funk...sound familiar? So make a plan! Finish this sentnece: "When the urge strikes I will ___________" The blank could be "call a friend," "blow up a balloon ten times (this slows down your breathing, and calms stress,)" "read an afirmation aloud (something like "I am strong, I am capable, I can do this!")," or "put one dollar in my goal jar (as the jar fills up, your confidence in yourself will build, and you will know that you can do this! You are strong enough! And you deserve a happy healthy life!)."
    I'm rooting for you Tanis! You can do this - you are doing this! - and you do deserve to live your best life!